On And On
by Trivher
Summary: Disney and Kevin Max owns everything; well almost everything. My deepest apologies to KMax for ruining a great song with such a pathetic story.


You are the sunshine

_You are the sunshine_

_I am the rain that falls in line_

_You are a candle_

_And I am your darkness_

_You are the moonlight_

_I am the cloud that passes by_

_You are a vision_

_And I am blindness_

People think my wearing black and being in a depressed mood all the time is just an act. To go along with the whole idea of rock stars must be depressed to be accepted.I wish it was just a game and I could put on a cheerful face at times.I can't though.Nobody understands the deepness of this depression and loneliness that inhabits me.Well maybe someone does.Oh I know he does!I actually find myself smiling when he is around.My black mood turns white without forcing it to.He's always so happy and full of life.The way I was at a time so long ago I can barely remember when.I can't say if it's love or any similar emotion, but it's defiantly something.He makes the whole world for me seem somewhat enjoyable.He turned the lights on for me. 

_And so it goes _

_The story is far too old to know it all_

I try to present myself as clear-headed professional when he's near.In fear he'll walk away unable to take my bouts of sadness.That seems to radiate off of me.He hasn't left yet.Others have, for different reasons.Whatever the circumstances planned or not planned it's still a slap in the face.I have played this game before.I only want a friend, another set of ears to share my worries to.But when he's near me with his silent eyes that at the same time scream so much, I can't help to wonder.On something I'm sure I will never understand till the end of time.

On and on, we dance until the song is off the radio 

_On and on, we hold each other long after the crowd is gone_

_On and on, our love goes on and on_

During the shows I love to mess around with him.Little looks, flirting and other mind games.I'm not sure if he realizes there not an act.He does it back at times, but with a guitar in hand it's not that easy.After another mind numbing boring set with the same songs that I wish I could hate; I crashed down in a chair.Waiting for the world to end or just a few minutes to myself.Then I heard it.The sounds of a radio softly playing music without any words.The kind of stuff you'd hear in over priced romantic restaurants.I look up to see Carey standing on the stage holding his hand out as an invitation.A few roadies and late staying audience members were buzzing around, but all I saw was him.I join him on the stage and fall into his arms.I ask him why?His answer was because he knew I needed it.

_You are an island_

_I am the raging of the sea_

_You are the fortress_

_And I am abandoned_

_You are the valley_

_You are a bird that flies so high_

_You are a temple_

_And I am a begger_

The day after our dance I tried to convince myself it was an illusion.An overly detailed dream, but I could smell his secret scent from where he touched me.I couldn't of created that in my head.But I'm not allowed happiness.Even if I do receive some it will never last.Plus Carey doesn't deserve me.His life is perfectly normal, full of options.He did a noble thing to make me smile for a while.I have to stop kidding myself on finding secret hidden under tones on it.He hasn't mentioned it another hint it was a one-time thing.I must be marked with a sign of sadness and he the sign of happiness.

And so it goes 

_The story is far too old to know it all_

Dressed a brand new black shirt, I can never have too many of those.An artificial smile plastered on my face I step onto the stage.In some club, in some city, which I'll leave the next day never knowing where I was.Greeting the crowd with the thank you for coming.Other words known as thanks for paying for the tickets so my kids and myself can have decent clothes.Then the music starts to play.I try to act as if singing and pouncing around the stage was the only thing I ever wanted to do.It used to be.I turn to Carey, which had become a habit.I could hardly believe it!He winked at me.

_On and on, we dance until the song is off the radio_

On and on, we hold each other long after the crowd is gone 

_On and on, our love goes on and on_

I didn't stick around the venue after the show.Too many people, too many questions.The bus was empty a popular trend now a days.Jack and Annie are off doing normal teenage stuff, rebelling against the world for a few hours.Irene no longer rode the bus only on rare circumstances.Ned was dipping back a few beers at the club that smelled of urine and beer.I can't understand how he can stand it in there.And Carey must be hanging out with the roadies or the other band members, he often did that.I was happy of the quiet, just a little personal one on one time.It didn't last.Just as crawled up on the couch with a book I bought in 50-cent bargain tray the lights were turned off.I sigh assuming the generator went kuptput again and stand to go set it back up again.Standing in the doorway almost un-recognizable in the dim light was Carey.What in the hell was he doing!?He smiled at me, at least I think he did and slowly walked up to me. And he then kissed me.

_Take me to your drawbridge, come take me to your door_

Take me when I'm hungry baby take me when I'm poor 

_Take me when sick of love, take me I've had enough_

_Take me when I'm lost, alone, and don't know the reasons why_

I freeze like a little kid playing a game of freeze-tag.Now I wasn't excepting that!I had thought of it before but never thought it would actually happen.Carey runs his hand through my hair and then kisses me again.I could get used to this.But I can't!It's wrong!He's wrong for it doing it, I'm wrong for allowing him to.Yet I make no admits to pull away.Oddly enough it felt right.I always knew he understood me more then the others.Why me though?I'm not pretty college co-ed with the ambitions of taking over the world.I have given up on life just playing around until the forces that control life and death decide to take me away.So why would Carey wish to be with me?

_On and on, we dance until the song is off the radio_

_On and on, we hold each other long after the crowd is gone_

_On and on, our love goes on and on_

But he did.Still holding him in his tight yet gently embrace he turns on the cd player.The same music from the night before fills the bus.Fills my heart as well.I stopped trying to convince myself it was all wrong and just let the moment takes us where it wishes to.We danced in the tiny room.Barely able to make any moves without hitting into a couch or a table leg.I didn't care.Because in the moon light leaking through the blinds of the windows, I saw something incredible.The look of love in Carey's eyes.

_You are a vision_

_And I am blindness_

The next day after our soul connection, I was happy.And I let everyone know it by going to the store and buying a white shirt.Maybe soon I'll be able to toss the black ones out.Carey didn't just change my wardrobe.He changed my heart in ways he'll never know of.He gave me hope and reason to move on.Just because of a silly little dance.It's funny how life can twist you around in every possible direction.But it knows what's it doing.


End file.
